Well I did post it. And I will take as long as I want. There’s no need for your rudness. Sorry I actually have things to do, and a life. Xx
I’m glad you liked it xx
A blessing in disguise ~ chapter 66
I pace around the hotel room while Hayley gets comfortable on the bed, I don’t feel like she’s mine anymore, I can’t help but feel I have lost her. I was out of line for how I behaved and for how I have behaved on other occasions. I can’t make excuses for myself, because it isn’t fair on her to blame something else for my behavior. It’s purely my own fault, nobody else’s but mine. “Stop pacing.” Hayley mumbles as she cuddles into the covers of the bed. I can’t help but feel my stomach sink even further. “Go to sleep.” I instruct, continuing to pace up and down the hotel room. I sit on the edge of the bed and put my head in my hands. It has taken me nearly a year to realise that I am someone who Hayley doesn’t deserve, she deserves way better than me. She deserves someone who can give her the love and support she needs and wants, the attention she needs and most of all the life she deserves, needs and wants. I can’t give her any of what she deserves because I’m not good enough for her. Liam is right I am a terrible boyfriend, I don’t meet her needs, I say I care and love her, but I don’t show it the best I can, I don’t give her the time she needs. We are always together but I don’t really make an effort to spend time with her. I don’t organize things to do, I don’t show her enough that I care for her. All I do is tell her that I can’t show her how much I care, and she accepts that when she shouldn’t. She shouldn’t accept my pathetic excuses and accept a pathetic person she calls a boyfriend. Maybe I should break it off with her, it’s the best thing for her. It will kill me to have to break up with her but I am just bringing her down with me, letting her live a life she clearly doesn’t want to live. I feel a hand to my shoulder before Hayleys voice distracts me from my thoughts. “Harry?” She whispers, and it takes me a moment to realise the tears in my eyes. I take a deep breath and wipe my eyes before Hayley moves and sits beside me. “Are you crying?” She asks me,
“No.” I instantly retaliate, not wanting her to know I had a few tears in my eyes. “Oh.” She sighs, “I know something’s wrong.” She comments,
“Do I make you happy?”
“Really?” I question softly,
“I wouldn’t be with you if you didn’t.”
“Do you ever feel that you can do better? Like there’s someone better than me?” I ask curiously, my emotions beating on me like a drum.
“No, do you feel you can do better?” Hayley asks me and I shake my head.
“I can’t do better, you’re too good for me.”
“Don’t say that.”
“It’s true, you’re too good for me.” I reply with a shrug.
“I beg to differ. Why are you being hard on yourself now?” Hayley sighs as she squeezes my shoulder gently.
“I’m not good enough for you.”
“Please don’t say that.” Hayley whispers, as I look down at my hands in my lap. “Look, we all have our moments, we all snap okay, I get it, I am not saying I am happy that you snapped on me in front of people, but I don’t want you over thinking everything and being hard on yourself.”
“It doesn’t mean I feel perfectly fine with what I did.”
“How do you feel?” Hayley asks me and I shrug, I want to tell her but I also don’t want to pour my emotions out. I like my emotions locked away, turned off, not pouring out of me. “You know you can open up to me Harry.”
“I think now is the time to open up.” Hayley informs me as her hand leaves me shoulder. “I’m scared to lose you.”
“Don’t tell me I won’t lose you, and don’t tell me something that will make me feel better.” I mumble and Hayley sighs before I feel her head resting on my shoulder. “I don’t know what you want me to say, but the only thing that comes to mind is that I love you.” Hayley whispers, I look to my shoulder and places a kiss on the top of her head. “I love you.” I manage to whisper out, the thought of losing her and not being able to have her be mine tugs at my heart strings. When reality hits you and you finally decide to pull up your socks and settle down, you come to realize the things that you can lose. At times they might be small but at other times they are major losses. I don’t want to lose Hayley for any reason, she’s what keeps me going, keeps me wanting more from my life and gives me a purpose.
At least a sneak peek xx
That’s kinda very typical though xx
No I’m out again unexpectedly. I might post a sneak peak though because I did say I would have something up xx
Haha thank you xx
No I didn’t come up with it. It has the instagram name on it. Someone I know cane up with the idea and asked me to post it so more people can do the idea xx
Haha I’m a terrible dancer
I don’t know you guys kiks xx
Kik me @writer_of_unbroken I don’t know your kiks